A new meditation

I am thinking about taking credit for my life. 

So i have been meditating on ...

 starting from a beginning event.

← i #did that null


So your are born on May Day.  

nope, i was born day before Halloween 1943.

but i quickened the egg, as depicted above,  in January of that year.

Time is an illusion. You are born when your consciousness becomes aware of your birth.

Putting a time and date on it is the opposite of being born. It is placing your birth somewhere else, in a moment point of nonexistence.

Things happen in sequence … that is not an illusion ...
rather sequences (waves and vibrations) are experienced relative to an experiencer.

tag #relativity 

as far as i can tell the rest of your response is your story emerging against the background of your beliefs.
i don’t share those beliefs, so your story goes kind of klink, klank, klunk over here null

You are born on May Day. That is true. The rest is the story you have made up today.  

well i am new every day, even every moment ← it is true. 
yet i do not think that momentary current spark of creation the whole of me. 
sorry i am aware of connections reaching back …
the trick of this meditation is imagining the reality way way back.

As you yourself say …

“You are aware of connections reaching back” … i.e. your own language does justice to the idea that your experience is being written from the “now” and “reaching back”.

also as you say …

“the trick of this meditation is imagining the reality way way back” … which also does justice to the idea that what you know of the past is imagination in the present.

Even your own words know the truth, for it is the experience, and your words seek to represent your actual experience. It is only your logical mind burdened with traditional ideas about time that believes there is a past separate from your now.  

well yeah that is the way memory and experience work. 

but that it is “experienced” that way, does not imply that …
what happened before does not vibrate (#inform) into my experience now.

What is happening “now” #inform’s into your experience “now”. If what is happening now is your memory of something, then that is what is informing your now, the memory you are having now. Nothing can inform you that you are not representing as the experience you are having now. If it is not in your awareness “now”, it is not having an affect on your awareness “now”. Try it.

Reality is your experience of it … period.  

Try having an experience “then”.

i can gestalt it that way … i just don’t like to because i would also need to tell myself a lie as i do it.
The microwave in the kitchen heated the coffee in my cup …
i instigated that process in the past … i know that because i remember it now.
That heat is now informing the heat sensors in my tongue. 

That is what happened.

How would you narrate that same sequence of events?

What you “are” telling yourself is as much a lie, just the lie you prefer. (not really … it is not a true #LIE by the definition, but it is the way you are using the word here).

I only need to narrate, and re-present, things when I have a specific need to present a sequence. Then, I generate the sequence “now” … because that is all I can do. I can’t generate a sequence to experience “now” … “then”.

My experience is “heat now”. That is what I want to experience “now”. If I also want to experience a memory of using a microwave, I can generate that memory “now”. If I want to experience sharing that dual (heat now + memory) experience I am having, I can generate an other now who is generating a similar memory experience. This is all part of our reality framework … it all works quite nicely and seamlessly so that we can enjoy experiences “now”.  

But … we tend to get lost in all that automated help … believing the illusions and getting stuck in their cycles and even making habits out of them. We don’t have to … we can simply experience now what we want to be experiencing now, including surprise “now”.  

how do you narrate an experience or seeing sunlight coming into your window in the morning
after experiencing the darkness of night?

I wake up at 3am it is dark. I wake up at 7am it is light. Anything I make up about that otherwise is my imagination, not part of my now experience, and not part of reality, and I know it.

If I am awake at 6am (EST, May, lat 27), I may experience the delight of a whole sunrise as a contiguous “now” experience (and I often do … I love sunrises … and even sharing them!)